Dating For Smart People: When Is Intelligence Attractive?

Dating For Smart People: When Is Intelligence Attractive?

Instead of wanting to connect with you, the other person’s attention is on other things like their phone or the TV. Make an effort to truly listen to the other person. By paying close attention to what they say, do, and how they interact, you’ll quickly get to know them. Little things go a long way, such as remembering someone’s preferences, the stories they’ve told you, and what’s going on in their life. If you’re just pretending to listen or care, your date will pick up on it. Rather than helping you connect and make a good impression, your efforts will most likely backfire.

Don’t make your search for a relationship the center of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced and make you a more interesting person when you do meet someone special. If you’re starting to feel resentment, jealousy, nervousness, or a lack of confidence around them, Relationship Coach, Andi LaBrune, tells Bustle, those are signs you may not be intellectually compatible.

Growing up with a person can tell you a lot about their intelligence. High grades, published papers and practical application achievements can also show you the depth of a person’s intelligence. If they are confirmed to have a three-digit IQ in the genius range, then they are definitely smarter than most people. So, the more independent and intelligent you are, the harder it is for you to find love . Independence — more than intelligence — ruins our relationships .

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In order to move from casual dating to a committed, loving relationship, you need to nurture that new connection. You only communicate well—laugh, talk, make love—when one or both of you are under the influence of alcohol or other substances. Get matched with a professional, licensed, and vetted therapist in less than 48 hours. Maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other. You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. In contrast, when targets were psychologically near, men showed less attraction toward women who outsmarted them.”

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More and more people are gauging their partners based on their conversation skills, interest depth and intellectual achievements. A study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that once a partner’s attractiveness was deemed to be ‘sufficient,’ intelligence was what mattered most to potential suitors. This is probably why research has found that intellectual connections last longer. Most men and women consider attractiveness as a relevant factor for a short-term partner and intelligence as a desirable quality for long-term relationships. From my observations, the following dating challenges seem to be common to most smart people .

Many of us fall into the trappings of valuing superficial features. And, although this hasn’t exactly been proven (but it’s something we more or less can all agree upon), it’s also why Maria Shriver was once married to Arnold Schwarzenegger. We understood the guy she was seeing was certainly agreeable, but we never thought she’d value looks over intellect. Especially since she herself was exceptionally brilliant. The longer two people share their lives together, the more likely complex factors are involved in their breakup.

Smart people have an insatiable appetite for learning. Whether it’s about a newly discovered quark, a dip in the stock market or a weird inscription found in a bathroom downtown. They love learning about new things and with that enthusiasm comes the joy of sharing it with someone they love. It’s not just their intelligence that gives them an edge when it comes to problem solving. By taking the higher position in terms of intellect, your partner will assume the role of problem-solver in the relationship.

As McBain says, think of it as a way to grow as a person. “It’s important to be able to learn from other people, especially your partner, and to be able to have intelligent conversations about the things that you both care about in the world,” she says. “This should be two-sided in that both partners are bringing interesting topics into their relationship.” If you and your partner are intellectually incompatible, does that mean your relationship won’t work out long-term?

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Sometimes, they may not even realize that they’re doing it. If you’re the one who’s taken on the “teacher” role, be mindful of your partner’s reactions to things you say or do. On the other hand, other individuals, with lower sapiosexuality, tend to focus more on meeting their basic requirements on other traits in a partner first. For example, they may primarily try to match with partners who are at least equal with themselves on physical attractiveness and sociability, before considering general intelligence. Such people do not penalize high IQ partners directly in their considerations.

A meaningful and fulfilling relationship depends on more than just good sex. Be grateful for early rejections—it can spare you much more pain down the road. It’s only natural to worry about how you’ll come across and whether or not your date will like you. But no matter how shy or socially awkward you feel, you can overcome your nerves and self-consciousness and forge a great connection. Be honest about your own flaws and shortcomings. Everyone has flaws, and for a relationship to last, you want someone to love you for the person you are, not the person you’d like to be, or the person they think you should be.

It’s that time of year again when romance is in the air and having a perfect date with your soulmate feels like something that’s important to have. Realize that the men that you meet may not be as smart as you but they may have other attributes that are really, really check this out important and great. Finding love and happiness is important and maybe you won’t end up with someone as smart as you but you’ll find someone who’s just really compatible with you. An older man might not want to play the back-and-forth games of a younger gentleman.

It analyzed survey responses from over 15 thousand people between the ages of 18 and 28. Though you feel like you’ve always done something a certain way just because that’s how you felt about it, other people might not have thought it as obvious. One may think someone who’s smart is someone who understands things instantly. To be strict about what thoughts to entertain means denying new and potential solutions from entering the mind.

You’ll come across as far more attractive and interesting than if you spend your time trying to promote yourself to your date. And if you aren’t genuinely interested in your date, there’s little point in pursuing the relationship further. Good communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.